


Late at night I swore you were the right guy.

by corrieandanais (orphan_account)



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Cliffhangers, Depression, Hurt Carl Grimes, I finally updated it, Im bad, Other, Panic Attacks, People act like they didn't see what they just did, Sad Carle Grimes, Smoking, Sobbing, Writer's Block, i dont know
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-10
Packaged: 2019-03-12 22:45:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13557177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/corrieandanais





	1. Thought you were better than that.

Carl stood up, going towards his room window.  It was breezy, cold, but also a beautiful night. He couldn’t go back to sleep, actually, he was sleeping but he just  _woke up._ It was so strange, but he shrugged it off his shoulder like it was lightweight. He didn’t trust anyone about staying since Negan came. Sleepless nights made him a little crazy. Until he got flashbacks about Lori, Glenn, and Abraham and at least a dozen other people who died that were with them. 

He had to distract himself. Quickly. His legs rushed , as he filled his arms with comics, books rushing towards his skin. The flashbacks drew his mind and eye crazy. He looked everywhere, as he couldn't find anything. "No. No.. No!" He shouted as his skin rushed making his body sweaty, his anxiety rushed up, making him worry as the stakes of having a panic attack were high. 

His breathing becomes more rapid and uneven. Second by second, his panic attack got worse. He was hyperventilating, his thoughts rushing a thousand miles per second. " I don't want to become crazy like Dad...I don't want to!" He threw the objects  to the floor, as he punched the wall. Again and again. His knuckles bled, pleading for the punching to stop. He didn't know how to stop. He finally stopped, as he grabbed a pillow and fell towards his bed. His eye filled with tears, as he started to sob himself to sleep.


	2. First month I was a little sad

* * *

Time skip 

* * *

 Carl woke up. His thoughts were already attacking his self esteem. He sat up, making groaning noises. His neck was stiff, and his body ached. He walked to the bathroom, taking a look at himself. He took off his 'eyepatch' and looked at himself. He could see his socket, Negan was right. It is disgusting. _He_ was disgusting. He looked like fresh horse shit. Eye bags formed under his only eye, and other missing eye. His eye started to water, he fucking hated crying. His thoughts went to all the possibilities of how good life is going to be without him existing. He shook his head out of the mindset,  using the bathroom and the unexpectedly water filled shower. When he was done, he could feel his head pound, and a great exhaustion. 

 Exhausted about living.

Exhausted about Negan.

Exhausted about having to be strong. 

Exhausted about having  to be brave. 

His body felt x1000 more heavy, as he forced himself to get out of the bathroom, his anxiety fucking kicking in already - causing him to feel worse.

Then his body dropped.

 


	3. Second month a little mad

'Hey, kid, open up!' Negan shouted to the house door of Rick, Michonne, and Carl.   
Negan was impatient, as he had to deal with Rick's poor scavenging skills and forced him to go back to scavenging. Two unknown guards were on the back of Negan, ensuring he was safe. 'You have this last time, Carl!' Negan shouted twice to the door, as Carl was still passed out upstairs. Negan ordered one of his gaurds to break open the door, so they did break a hole onto the door. 'Told ya to open up, kiddo.' he mumbled under his breath, as he ordered one of his guards to unlock the door from the hole, then the guard opened the house door. Negan searched his house, nobody was there. 'Fuckin' kiddo.' His guards were at the door. Negan went up to the stairs, as in the corner of his vision, he saw Carl. Passed out.   
  
  
'What the fuck?' Negan bent over, slapping Carl's cheeks, as Carl's body was unresponsive. 'He must've passed out. Kiddo must be going through a lot of shit.' Negan mumbled, he carried Carl up to his room, and to his bed. Negan then left, expecting to meet Michonne here but she must've went with Rick. He could hear crying, and he knew it was Judith. He went to her room and looked at the little angel. 'Hey little ass-kicker, your brother must've not taken care of you, its fine I'm here.' Negan bounced her up and down, as he went downstairs and gave her milk. 5 gulps, and they went, Negan took her.  
  
He knew that Carl would go rogue.  


	4. Third a bit delirious

Negan smiled to himself as he walked out of the house. Being followed by his guards, the people surrounding him weren't at all surprised, as he did worse to the others that he kidnapped or just simply took away, torturing and making them go insane following what Negan just wanted. Negan got into the car that they arrived here on. "Drive, we won't waste anytime here." And so what he ordered happened, the car aiming for his prison. The baby falling asleep on his shoulder.  
\--  
Carl could feel his eye open, as his hair fell on his face. He made groaning noises, as his vision was hazy. From what he remembered last - , he passed out on the floor. 'So how did I end up here?' he thought to himself. He thought it was his father, but as soon as he went downstairs, no one was to be found in the house. He went up to Judith's room and she was gone. She was gone. The thought of possible and horrible scenario's filled his mind of what is happening or happened to Judith. But he had no time to be sad again, he quickly went to find Rosita. He saw her on the bench, smoking. Carl ran to her as she looked mildly worried about what's happening to him. "Have you ever saw someone here take Judith? Did Negan come here?" He spoke in a loud voice, as it almost drew attention. "Jesus, Carl, be quiet! If the people here find out that we're the ones who lost or are planning to find Judith, they're going to kill us!" Rosita harshly whispered into Carl's ear. He nodded to her response, making sure he was quiet. 

But at this point, he was almost about to break again. He can't have the luxury of crying or having a shoulder to cry on right now. He was about to break and go rogue on everyone, but he held back the anger tempting him to release it on everyone. He had to suppress it. He wouldn't have anyone else, but he already lost his everything. Judith.


End file.
